Hard America

Michael Barone writes in US News about Hard America and Soft America, suggesting that the squishy helpless 18 year olds oozing out of the gentle womb of public schools are trained to be the greatest fighting machine the world has ever seen due to the powerful forces of boot camp and McDonalds. No really. According to Barone, America was in danger of losing its hard, threatening to “go soft” but then (thank god) “In the 1980s and 1990s Hard America fought back.”

Right. Fought back. Well at least America got hard again, right?

As Matthew Yglesias points out, Barone has absolutely nothing to back up his “down with softie” argument except what I assume must be a very dog-earred copy of Lord of the Flies which he’s been cuddling since adolescence. The least he could do is be a little more honest about his zero-sum perversions. Especially now that America has openly declared a diplomatic policy of “there can be only one” (a statement of political philosophy which–not coincidentally–comes from the 80’s movie Highlander)

So it’s left to NWA to sum up Barone’s vague ideas and offer a more succinct example of “Hard America” fighting back:

With a right left, right left you’re toothless
And then you say goddamn they ruthless!
Everwhere we go they say [damn!]
N W A’s fuckin’ up tha program
And then you realize we don’t care
We don’t just say no, we to busy sayin’ yeah!
To drinkin’ straight out the eight bottle
Do I look like a mutha fuckin role model?
To a kid lookin’ up ta me
Life ain’t nothin but bitches and money.
Cause I’m tha type o’ nigga that’s built ta last
If ya fuck wit me I’ll put a foot in ya ass
See I don’t give a fuck ’cause I keep bailin
Yo, what the fuck are they yellin

Gangsta, Gangsta! That’s what they’re yellin
“It’s not about a salary, it’s all about reality”
Gangsta, Gangsta! That’s what they’re yellin
“Hopin you sophisticated motherfuckers hear what I have to say”